Beautiful on the outside

There are many times I've played "verbally abusive girlfriend" to the city of New York. I've complained about, yelled at, sworn at and even broken up with Manhattan in the past 4 years I've lived up here, but always come crawling back with flowers asking for forgiveness.

When we make the commute from the Bloom to the City each day, we tend to have our heads stuck in books, blackberrys and are pecking frantic emails to work explaining that we'll be late yet again due to "traffic on 3 leading to the Tunnel".

But there is a moment, each day when, as the bus rounds the overpass towards the belly of the Lincoln Tunnel that everyone looks up towards the Manhattan skyline. Even if for just a moment. The NYC skyline is breathtaking; full of history, life, first-kisses, drama and sadly even death.

But as ugly as the city can be on any given day, it is truly beautiful on the outside.

the saddistic side of sample sales

It is probably common place for NYC women to scour their favorite designers sites for sample sale info and to stand in line outside in 30 degree weather to save $200 or more on this seasons latest, vintage inspired and still way too overpriced look.

It is not common place for me, however. But when I stumbled across a DVF sample sale I was instantly reminded that a very good friend of mine had once uttered, "I'll know when I've made it when I can buy a DVF wrapdress." I was in full support of this dream and off we went to 5th Avenue, the mecca of NYC style and high end fashion.

The very words "sample sale" to me scream, "suck it in because its tiny" and I don't know what I was thinking trying to cram what I like to refer as my "Marilyn-Monroe-Wore-A-Size-14" body into a DVF dress, but I walked into the mayhem that ensued anyway.

Dozens of NYC girls clad in patterened leggings, minis and boots clamoring over one another to grab the sample pieces and spring dresses is what we saw and we reluctantly handed over our bags and coats and begin scouring.

I find a few "my tag says 14 but I'm really a size 6" dresses and we head to what we think are the fitting rooms. But what we find is not multiple rooms but one large fitting room complete with runway-esque mayhem.

Doe eyed and terrified I scan the room to see half naked women in teeny tiny thongs and lacy bras pulling on shirts and tugging on pants.

"Yeah," I say to A, "I don't know if I can do this." My bra seems about as stylish as a salvation army swimsuit top and this ass hasn't seen a thong in, hmm, about a year. There was no way me and my Grannies were stripping down in front of these Louis Vuitton wallet carrying women in their size 4 sweaters. So, I did what any body conscious woman would do. I tried a dress on over my cami and stared straight at the wall. Nope, didn't fit. I wasn't dropping my pants, so I tried an old trick of wrapping the waist band of a skirt around my neck to see if there was hope and nope!

Defeated, I pull on my bulky grey sweater and head out of the hellish fitting room back to the racks. I ponder over a $30 pair of DVF leggings before I remember that I just paid $7 for a new pair a week ago.

As I looked around at the tiny girls with armloads of fashionable finds, I start to feel a sense of happiness that I didn't eat the black and white cookie I craved today. And well, my husband will feel happiness upon reading this because my Amex is safe from debt.

So who cares if that amazing DVF dress didn't fit? I felt lucky to have the means to buy it if it did, and a great friend to have experienced the evening with. And the best part was that she did find her wrap dress, and I couldn't have been happier for her. She has made it :)

Anyway, I think I'll stick to sample sales of purses and shoes from now on. At least I know they'll fit-and I don't have to take off much to try them on.

In New York...concrete jungle where dreams are made of...

I'm really digging the "Empire State" song by JayZ and Alicia Keys. It's inspiring to hear a song that represents New York so well, the good and the bad. But I'm listening to the lyrics again and they got me thinking. JayZ quotes Frankie when he says "If I can make it there, I can make it anywhere" and I believe that to be true.

But what does it mean to "make it"? And how do you know if you have?

On paper it probably reads that I've "made it"....does it?

• Amazing husband
• Great friends
• Glamorous NYC Job
• Better than average salary
• House in the 'burbs
• 2.5 dogs
• SUV

Have I done it? Have I achieved the American Dream? Has NYC helped me get there? I'm tempted to say....

wait for it....

No!

Despite the glamour that comes with working and living in / near NYC, I can't help but wonder if something else is missing. Working in NYC is hard. The commute sucks. Its literally a concrete jungle. People are mean. The streets are mean. It's incredibly frustrating, especially walking through Tourist ridden Times Square.

So yes, maybe we've 'made it', but it doesn't make it right. There's got to be a better quality of life out there that lets go of the monotony of black clothing, taxis and sirens, overpriced drinks and impossible to get into restaurants. Where does that all exist?

I think, that after the time spent in NYC I've become a stronger person; perhaps it's been better for my career, but it's also made me a bit more cynical and pessimistic than I'd like to admit. So I think the time has come to search for greener pastures. Perhaps I'm ready to make it anywhere else but here.

Everyone loves the house!!

In planning for a visit from Mom and her best friend Joyce I've sent them 'reservation confirmations' from our "hotel", aka our house. Enjoy! But look at my sister's response below. Its not like she spends every weekend at the hotel or anything! LOL.

Please do not reply back to this email message as this email address is used for outbound messages only.You are receiving this email notification to advise you that your travel arrangements have been posted to the Chateau D'Eck Travel Groups web site. This web site allows you and any other person(s) you have designated to view and print your travel invoice/itinerary 24 hours a day for up to 90 days. ** Travel Tip - Pack your bags for a fun filled and relaxing Spaaaah....weekend. This email serves as confirmation of your hotel reservation at:


Chateau D'Eck, Bloomfield, NJ
Hotel Details: Chateau D'Eck opened for business just three short years ago in charming Bloomfield, NJ. Hotel owners Heather and Tom are delighted to have out of towners in their warm and cozy 1929 home. Make yourself at home in this out of the ordinary Chateau where service is never second best. While staying with us enjoy complimentary shuttle service to and from Manhattan, just 15 miles outside of the city of Bloomfield. Dine at 5 star restaurants like Gencarellis in hip Montclair, NJ. Wine, water and coffee are complimentary at Chateau. Hungry for breakfast? The chefs specialize in banana pancakes and blueberry muffins with fresh squeezed orange juice, or grab a bagel at the local noshery. Join us on Saturday evening for a "Spaaaah Night" (ladies only please). Please let us know how we can be of service to you during your stay.

Dates: Thursday 9/24 - Sunday 9/27
Check in: After 3:00 p.m.
Check out: 8:00 a.m., Sunday, 9/27
Room Rate: $0.00 / night
Rewards Redeemed: 500,567
Balance Remaining: 33 J

Joyce
Room Name: New Orleans (NOLA)
Room Type: Single occupancy, queen sized bed, non-smoking, pet-friendly
Room Details: Recently renovated, including new ceiling fan installation. View overlooking the north lawn and patio area, iron, ironing board, bedside table and reading lamp. Complimentary hi-speed internet service.
Turn Down Service: Promptly at 7:00 p.m.
Wake Up calls are available - please confirm with management upon checking in

Robbie
Room Name: The Green room
Room Type: Double occupancy, queen sized bed, non-smoking, pet-friendly
Room Details: Beautifully renovated guest favorite. View overlooking the west lawn, bedside table, reading lamp and fan. Complimentary hi-speed internet service.
Turn Down Service: Promptly at 7:00 p.m.
Wake Up calls are available - please confirm with management upon checking in.

If you require airport shuttle service please confirm at least 24 hours in advance with your flight time and number.

Tip is not included in hotel price. Thank you and enjoy your stay!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Stacey's Response~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dear Management,

I was delighted to receive the confirmation for my stay at Chateau D'Eck this weekend but disappointed to see that my room reservation was not included. I have included the details of my stay from when I made the reservation and hope the Chateau can accommodate my stay.

Room Name: Living Room
Room Type: Single occupancy, green microseude couch, non-smoking, pet-friendly
Room Details: Comfortable living room space with television including DVR and movies on demand. Views of the front lawn and lovely relaxing sounds of the grandfather clock. Complimentary hi-speed internet service.
Turn Down Service: Promptly at 7:00 p.m.
Wake Up call: When yellow lab stares at you or licks your feet
Please let me know if services can be rendered. Otherwise I will be required to sleep in the Brookdale dog park. Thank you!

Day 2...

9/22/09
Weight: 203?! (At home WW scale vs one at Curves...which is right?!)
Feeling: well rested!

So I survived yesterdays Nutrisystem meal planning, albeit I didn't eat enough apparently. I forgot to stock up on veggies, fruits and eggs to supplement the portion controlled, read, teeny tiny, meals. So, after a long and hunger ridden day I stalked to the grocery store for some food!

Back at home I tossed mushrooms, shallots, zucchini, squash, tomatoe and a touch of olive oil with some garlic and pepper. Whala! Instant veggie medly and right on time. The sweet and sour chicken meal made me want to toss my cookies so I opted for dessert: almond chocolate cookie and a sugar free, 60 cal pudding cup. Yummmmm.

No time for work outs today; I've got homework tonight, so back to being curvalicious tomorrow! Have a great day!

Me and the Ring need a Makeover, Day 1

Day 1
9/21/09
210 lbs
Feeling: excited to get started!

As the boy and I are approaching our one year anniversary, it has come to my attention that my ass has become quite sizeable. In one respect I can blame it on the delicious meals and wine my beloved has served over the last 336 days. In another it can be perceieved that I've grown lazy and comfortable and really, let's face it "happy fat"!

But this has got to change; it has got to change. And so today I begin a workout regimine and diet to strip off the 60 plus pounds I've accumulated in the past four, maybe five years. Yes, that's right. 60. Jesus, its hard to type that.

Today I start Nutrisystem and Curves to health-ily remove those extra pounds and become the svelt slim person I once was...

Wish me luck! Ill be keeping you posted on my progress...

Hne

A woman of many talents.

Last night during our weekly Tuesday night Sushi night, my adoring and lovingly attentive husband pointed out to me that I am a woman of many talents. And since he's away for the evening and I'm here alone, I began to ponder our conversation...

His assessment of me was this:

1. I am an astute Business woman: I may at times disagree; my lack of strategic insight is sometimes made up for by my ability to simply align with the fact that most things, when given the right amount of thought are plain old common sense.
2. I am somtimes a Motivational and Spiritual speaker: Let's face it - if you need to philosophize on all things karmic, I'm probably your girl. A very smart woman once told me that what you put out into the Universe comes back; negative thoughts spur negativity - and likewise, positive thoughts can yield positive manifestations of your own exciting destiny. I will win the lottery, I will win the lottery...I digress. You know what I mean.
3. I sometimes revert back to a 14 - year old Gossip Girl: I make no apologies. I am, without a doubt, addicted to all things Twilight. My guilty pleasure is nothing more than a weekly celebrity gossip magazine, and while pink may not be my favorite color, you'll never find me turning down a fun piece of costume jewelry or a bargain bin sale.

Quite frankly, I think his observation was right on point. And who knows, maybe I'm more than those three things; certainly I'm not all 3 at once, but it sure makes for an interesting evening. And you know what? Maybe Liz Phair had it right all along....

"I am extraordinary, if you'd ever get to know me
I am extraordinary, I am just your ordinary
Average every day sane psycho
Supergoddess..."

Chivalry is in fact, dead.

I've said it before and I’ll say it again. Chivalry is dead. Forget the good old days when people held doors open (now they're automatic), when they said please and thank you (now you're lucky if you get a head nod much less a grunt) and long gone are the days when a man stood and freed his seat for an expecting woman (What? It’s not his fault she's standing for two).

This morning I reached the bus stop just in time to board behind two young, strong, and seemingly polite men. As I climb on fresh and ready to start my day, I find that there are no more seats. OK, I think and shrug. I assume the position to stand for the 12 mile trek to the City. Arms flanked on either side of me clutching the, for lack of a better word, overhead bin of the bus – I feel like Touchdown Jesus or the Karate Kid minus the awesome jump kick he does at the end. As I’m holding on for dear life, sweating away the mineral makeup I applied so gingerly this morning, it occurs to me; every single person occupying the aisle seats this morning is a man! Well surely, I think, given their proximity to me and the fact that I’m standing is the perfect opportunity for one to brush up on their chivalry manners and offer me, the only woman on the bus standing, their seat.

Before we reach the arches of the Lincoln Tunnel, about 45 minutes into our 55 minute drive, it becomes increasingly clear to me that not a single one of these men will stand and offer their seat to me.

Now a few things enter my mind. What if I were a cute Blonde wearing a cute black dress? Oh that’s right. I am. What if I were a cute Blonde pregnant woman? (Don’t get any ideas!). What if I were just a woman, the only woman, standing on a bus full of men, overweight men, and young men, ugly and attractive men reading newspapers, Blackberrying, sleeping? Surely their mothers, grandmothers, wives, sisters, nieces, etc., would be sick to themselves with shame that they wouldn't have given up their seat, right?

Not quite. While I’m stuck staring down at the Kangol-hat-wearing-metro-sexual listening to “Bella’s Lullaby” on his iPod shuffle, I come to the conclusion that yes, chivalry is dead. Even Touchdown Jesus would have at least offered His seat to me, and he’s an inanimate object!

Let us all bow our heads in mourning for the dearly departed Chivalry. May it rest in…no! May it stand, for all eternity, in traffic in the Lincoln Tunnel.

OK, Maybe I Was a Bit Harsh

Ok NY, I get it. We all have bad days. Maybe I was a little rash dumping you like a Rock of Love bus girl on a Tuesday of all days. I know we can work this out and establish a solid frienship again; after all, you do have some redeeming qualities.

Of course I don't feel like listing them all right now, so we'll just pretend that I already have.

Besides, it might not even be your fault-I do spend the majority of my time in the Dirty Jerz.

Dear NY, I'm Breaking Up With You and I'd Like my Personal Space Back!

Its been three long years since I first ventured to NYC from DE and I've got to tell ya, I'm ready to move back. There are countless times each day that I curse my commute from a beautiful house in Bloomfield to the wicked grey garden of the City. If I could transplant the house and my job to greener pastures, I would; I can't afford the carry on fees.

New York, why do your narrow sidewalks always seem to be under the awning of construction? Why do tourists flood the sidewalk in zombie like droves like peaceful building watchers who clog the streets with flash photography and faux Louis Vuitton bags?

I'm so tired of waiting at a light and getting brushed in the back by one of your cynical city dwellers, pushing their way through a crowded sidewalk corner just to be the first to cross the street when the light turns green.

I'm tired of feeling so alone in a city full of so many people. In your efforts to make me feel part of your incrowd, I feel exhausted at your empty promises and seemingly endless diversity and I mean the crazy kind.

New York, I'm tired of feeling like a bad person because you've taught me that if I'm behind someone walking slower than I am, be it a Grandma or a toddler, that its ok to push past them briskly and say nothing.

I'm tired of politely holding the door open for rude commuters only to have them briskly sidle past me and step on my newly manicured toes.

And frankly, I'm tired of sitting closer to the stranger on the subway than I do my own husband at the movies.

New York, I've had it with you. And if Frankie says I can make it there, then I'm ready to make it anywhere else.

Its been fun.

H

I'm surrounded by drunk, angry leprechans

There was a time that I relished in a cold, green beer in the mid-morning of St. Patrick's day. Rubbing shoulders with other fellow "Irish-for-the-day" revelers was a common affair each year requiring a shopping excursion for the best tiny green baby tee with an Irish enuendo emblazoned across the chest and a tiny packed Irish Pub blasting the Flogging Mollys.

We (and you know who you are) would dig out mounds of shamrock shaped beeds, search for the perfect green accessories (purse, hair ribbons and socks) to complete our festive looks all so we could drunkenly stumble thru the streets of Hoboken or Manhattan celebrating this American holiday while needing a mid afternoon sopping meal from McDonalds (you know, that Irish place?)

Today, as I leave my office to head home I can't help but wonder why I didn't take today off to drink green beer and celebrate that St. Patrick drove the slithering snakes from Ireland many many years ago. At least I think he did.

And then it hits me. Literally, a drunken, hungry, street meat craving leprechan, springs off the sidewalks chanting in his faux slurring Irish Brougue...."Kish Me, I'm Iris"

And then I realize...I'm too effing old for this shit.

It runs in the family

had to share this funny conversation between my sis and I....some background:

Mom and Dad: Met at a wedding in 1971
Me and the Boy: Met at a wedding (again) in 2005
The boy's Dad married a woman with the same name as his sister
The Boy married me; same name as one of his sisters...weird, right?

The sis' take on it....

Stayday (4:46:20 PM): i have deteriorating bone loss in my teeth
hnnyc (4:46:29 PM): really?!!
hnnyc (4:46:34 PM): how do you know? did you go to the dentist?
Stayday (4:46:37 PM): yes just went to dentist
Stayday(4:46:40 PM): on my lunch break
hnnyc (4:46:43 PM): what did he say to do?
Stayday(4:46:47 PM): i have to be a freak who brushes like 5 times a day
hnnyc (4:47:03 PM): did they say to take a calcium supplement or anything?
Stayday(4:47:07 PM): no
Stayday(4:47:10 PM): but i take a multi vitamin
hnnyc (4:47:16 PM): random
Stayday (4:48:43 PM): i know rite
Stayday(4:48:46 PM): mom says it runs in our family
hnnyc (4:48:52 PM): ugh -
Stayday (4:48:54 PM): so i have to get a cleaning tomorrow before i come over
hnnyc (4:49:02 PM): thanks mom - big hips, big teeth; bone loss
hnnyc (4:54:42 PM): any word from any prospects on e-harm?
Stayday (4:55:00 PM): im done with eharm tomorrow
hnnyc (4:55:03 PM): you are?
Stayday (4:55:26 PM): yep
hnnyc (4:56:15 PM): boys suck
Stayday(5:01:51 PM): i think ill meet someone at krissys wedding
hnnyc (5:01:57 PM): what makes you say that?
Stayday (5:02:10 PM): it runs in our family like bone loss